You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
