I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Randomize
