my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
