i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
