You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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