those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize
