i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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