matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
