i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
