Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
