My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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