Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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