Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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