Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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