So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize