We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
