You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
