that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
