I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
