So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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