i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
