Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
