So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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