thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize