Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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