Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
