i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
