Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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