They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
