Non-Jews are for practice
You can't special order awesome
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
