I cannot find my penis.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
