Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
