tonight lets celebrate not being married
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
