He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The beer is more important than you right now.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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