This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
why is half of my head shaved?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
