Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
