Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm just crazy horny about you
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
