i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
