i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
