The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
