i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
