Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
