Can i not drive my cunt home
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
