Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
