Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
