If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
