just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
