It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
