i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize