I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
love makes seman taste better
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
