Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
