I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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