God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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