There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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