hell yes lets make some ravioli
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
