I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
