we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
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