meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
