You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think a kid would responsible me up
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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