Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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